The Swelling I Ignored
“The first sign was not pain. It was swelling — quiet, explainable, and easy to ignore.”
When I Decided to Take Control
When I returned to Cambodia in 2022, I knew one thing for sure:
I couldn’t pretend anymore.
I had already been told I had chronic kidney disease. I had felt what it was like when my body slowed me down without warning. This time, I didn’t want to wait for things to get worse before paying attention.
So I started checking my blood pressure regularly. Not occasionally — consistently. I wanted to understand my body, not just react to it.
I followed up with a general practitioner and began running tests again. I wasn’t chasing perfection. I was chasing stability.
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Living Life While Watching the Numbers
On the surface, life looked normal.
I could work.
I could move around.
I could still coach football and stay active.
But underneath that normal life, the numbers told a quieter story.
My blood levels were still low, which explained why fatigue never fully went away. My kidney numbers showed that the disease hadn’t disappeared — it had simply continued, slowly. Sometimes things looked stable. Other times, they crept in the wrong direction.
What stood out to me was this: Even when I felt okay, my body was still under stress. That was a hard lesson.
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GIVING WHILE STILL FIGHTING
Managing Blood Pressure Became Personal
Blood pressure stopped being just a reading on a machine. It became something I paid attention to every day.
I noticed patterns.
Some days it was fine.
Other days it rose for no obvious reason.
Stress, rest, activity — everything seemed to affect it.
I followed my doctor’s advice, adjusted medications, and tried to do the right things. I wasn’t reckless — but I was learning in real time that chronic illness doesn’t always follow rules.
You can do many things right and still feel like you’re negotiating with your own body.
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The Illusion of “I’m Still Okay”
This was probably the most dangerous phase.
Because I wasn’t in pain. Because I wasn’t in a hospital bed. Because I could still function.
It created the illusion that I had more time than I actually did.
Looking back, this stage taught me something important:
Chronic kidney disease doesn’t measure time the way we do.
You can feel strong while damage quietly continues. You can stay busy while your organs work harder just to keep up.
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What I Want People to Understand
If you’re reading this and you’re in that middle stage — not healthy, not critical — please hear this:
Feeling “okay” doesn’t always mean things are okay.
Following up matters. Tracking matters. Asking questions matters. Blood pressure control matters more than most people realize.
I didn’t ignore my condition in 2022 — but I also didn’t fully understand how fast things could change.
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This Wasn’t the End of the Story
What happened next surprised me.
And it changed my life.
But that part of the journey deserves its own space — because it’s about resilience, adaptation, and learning to live fully even when life doesn’t go as planned.
That’s a story I’ll share next.